故鄉的雨
Rain in My Old Home

唐弢
Tang Tao

| 譯文摘自張培基《英譯中國散文選二》

江南的春天素稱多雨,一落就是七八天。住在上海的人們,平日既感不到雨的需要,一旦下雨,天氣是那么陰沉,誰也耐不住悶在狹小的家里;可是跑到外面,沒有山,沒有湖,也沒有經雨的嫩綠的葉子,一切都不及晴天好;有時闊人的汽車從你的身旁馳過,還帶一身泥污回來。
Spring in the south is known to be rainy. During this season, it never rains there but it remains wet for seven or eight days on end. Dwellers in Shanghai, who usually do not feel the need for rain, will be bored with having to confine themselves in their close quarters when outside it is gloomy with rain. While in the open, seeing no mountains, nor lakes, nor rain-drenched soft green leaves, you’ll find nothing comparable to a fine day. Sometimes, worse still, a rich man’s car flashing past may splash you all over with mud.

要點
1,“一落就是七八天”譯為it never rains there but it remains wet for seven or eight days on end.,相當于 it never rains there without remaining wet for seven or eight days on end,其中wet 作rainy,on end 意為continuously,或at a time.英語常用never but +主語+動詞,表達“未有…而不…”之意(雙重否定表肯定~~),也可譯為”總是“如He never comes but he brings something for the children.
他哪次來都要給孩子們帶些東西。
2,“耐不住悶在狹小的家里“譯為be bored with having to confine themselves in their close quarters when outside it is gloomy with rain.其中對于否定詞”耐不住“,譯者采用一個形式上肯定,內容上否定的be bored with來譯,符合英語的行文習慣。To confine themselves in/to,即“悶著”。
3,“沒有山,沒有湖,也沒有經雨的嫩綠的葉子”多重否定句,用否定詞+nor~
4,worse still,是增譯的關聯詞,將上下文遞進的關系表達了出來,使得行文更流暢~

綜述
注意新句型never but+主語+動詞~

記得六七年前初來上海讀書,校里的功課特別忙,往往自修到午夜;那年偏又多雨,淅淅瀝瀝,打窗飄瓦,常常擾亂我看書的情緒。我雖不像豈明老人那樣額其齋曰:“苦雨”,天天坐在里面噓氣,但也的確有些“深惡而痛絕之”的念頭。
I remember when I first came to Shanghai to attend school six or seven years ago, I used to be so very busy with my homework that I often had to sit up late into the night. As it happened to be a rainy year, I was often disturbed by the pitter-patter of rain beating down against the window and roof. Indeed, I dislike rain with no less intensity than the elderly gentleman Qi Ming, who sits about moaning about the wet weather all day in his study, over the doorway of which hangs a horizontal board bearing an inscription in his own hand, “Distressing-Rain Study”.

要點
1, sit up late意為“深夜不睡”灰常常見~
2, “豈明老人”即周作人(字豈明),因此譯為the elderly gentleman Qi Ming,這類有中國特色的詞翻譯時一定要加注釋哦,可以在不影響理解的情況下加在原文,也可用括號或腳注的方法,總之一定要解釋給讀者
3, “額其齋”即“ 給某人的書齋取名題字,然后掛到正堂墻或門的上方(所謂的額指的是墻或門的上方)”故“額其齋曰:‘苦雨’”譯為over the doorway of which hangs a horizontal board bearing an inscription in his own hand, “Distressing-Rain study”.
4, “苦雨”中的“苦”更多地理解為“凄苦,悲慘”因此譯為Distressing-Rain
5, “天天坐在里面噓氣”譯為who sits about moaning about the wet weather all day in his study,其中moan相當于sigh之前我們在總結“感慨,感嘆“的時候均有提及
6, To sit about意即“懶洋洋地閑坐“,用在此處較sit更為貼切

綜述:注意末句“我雖不像豈明老人那樣…但也的確有些“深惡而痛絕之”的念頭“,譯者在翻譯時調整語序為”的確,我不喜歡雨,但程度不及‘豈明老人’,他….”,使譯文在意思上更為通順和連貫

可是這種事情只在上海才會有。少時留居家鄉,當春雨象鵝毛般落著的時候,登樓眺望,遠處的山色被一片煙雨籠住,村落恍惚,若有若無,雨中的原野新鮮而又幽靜,使人不易忘懷!尤其可愛的是夜間。不知哪一年春天,我和兩個同伴,搖著小船到十里外一個鎮上看社戲,完場已是午夜,歸途遇雨,船在河塘中緩緩前進,燈火暗到辨不出人面,船身擦著河岸新生的茅草,發出沙沙的聲音。雨打烏篷,悠揚疾徐,如聽音樂,如聞節拍,和著同伴們土著的歌謠,“河橋風雨夜推篷”,真使人神往。
But that’s something which can be experienced in Shanghai only. I’ll never forget the days when I enjoyed the spring rain in my native place as a small child. I would go upstairs to take a distant look. The faraway mountains were veiled in a misty rain. The villages were now visible, now invisible. The wet open country was fresh and serene. And the rainy evening was even more lovely. One spring, together with two companions, I rowed a small boat to a townlet ten li away to see a village opera. At midnight, after the performance was over, we got caught in a rain on the way home. The boat made its way slowly and our faces were hardly distinguishable by the dim light of the lantern. Rustles were heard the boat rubbed its body against the newly grown green grass by the river bank. The rain beating on the awning gave off a pleasant sound, as if with musical rhythm and cadence. My companions began to sing, to the accompaniment of the drip-drop, the local folk song In a Boat by a Bridge on a Rainy Night. It was truly fascinating.

要點
1,“村落恍惚,若有若無”意同“村落若隱若現”,譯為The villages were now visible, now invisible.其中“now …and now…”作”時而…時而…”解
2,“和著同伴們土著的歌謠”意即”伴隨著同伴們唱的地方歌謠“。譯時顛倒過來,按”伴隨著雨聲,同伴們唱起一支地方歌謠…”譯為My companions began to sing, to the accompaniment of the drip-drop, the local folk song…
3,“使人神往”=fascinating,簡潔貼切
4,“不知哪一年春天,我和兩個同伴,搖著小船到十里外一個鎮上看社戲,/完場已是午夜,歸途遇雨,/船在河塘中緩緩前進,燈火暗到辨不出人面,/船身擦著河岸新生的茅草,發出沙沙的聲音。“是一長句,我們之前說過,在翻譯時不推崇寫太長的句子,因此在翻譯時,譯者根據主語和意群進行了斷句,將原句譯為4個分句,主語分別是I, we,the boat, rustles(沙沙聲),譯文結構清晰~

綜述:注意本段譯者的斷句~

這幾年投荒都市,每值淫雨,聽著滯澀枯燥的調子,回念故鄉景色,真覺得連雨聲也變了。人事的變遷,更何待說呢!
In recent years, living, as I do, in a big city remote from my old home, I invariably feel homesick listening to the harsh, monotonous drip, drip, drip of the rain. O even the sound of rain has changed, to say nothing of the affairs of human life!

要點
1,“投荒“本意為”貶謫“或”被流放到荒遠處“,原文作者意為”寄居或居住在遙遠的城市“,故譯為In recent years, living, as I do, in a big city remote from my old home, as I do 是為了加強語氣
2,“滯澀枯燥的調子“,”滯澀“即”刺耳“,”枯燥“即”單調“,分別譯為harsh 和monotonous。
3,“調子“即”滴滴答答“的雨聲,譯者用擬聲詞drip,drip,drip 表達~和前面的pitter-patter也是擬聲詞,表示”淅淅瀝瀝“
4,“更待何說“即”更不用說“,譯為to say nothing

綜述:本篇是一篇回憶性散文,原文風格清新,語言質樸,口語化的表達是這篇不算長的文章的一大亮點,譯者在充分理解的基礎上,運用多種手法,使譯文盡量在語言和風格上貼近原文

聲明:本雙語文章的中文評析系滬江英語原創內容,轉載請注明出處。中文評析僅代表作者個人觀點,如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。