也許經歷過種種不順,還是沒有尋得真愛,也許迷茫,也許痛苦,但你也要知道,對某個人來說,你,就是他在這浩瀚星河里還沒有放棄愛情的理由。一位外國博主以他個人的經歷分享了他的觀點。

I don’t believe luck has anything to do with finding love.
我一直相信運氣無關愛情

Are there a few people who easily find love, with all the fixing’s? Yes, but you and I aren’t one of those people.
是不是總有那么一部分人能通過各種手段,輕易就擁抱愛情。 事實的確如此,但是你我并不是這類人。

We’re the one’s who feel unlucky in love, left out and frustrated.
我們總是情場不順,被愛情所遺忘,并且總是悲傷絕望。

It seems so EASY for others and so damn hard for us.
好像對別人來說這不是件難事,但對于我們卻是非常困難的事情。

We painfully watch everyone else get fall in love and get married, wondering…
我們痛苦的看著身邊的人陷入愛河,踏入婚姻的殿堂,不禁思考起人生:

‘When will it be my turn?
什么時候才能輪到我呢?’

‘Am I so unlovable?’
我就這么不受待見嗎?

‘What’s wrong with me?’
我是有什么問題嗎?

‘Why am I still single & stuck?
為什么我還是單身?’

… And frankly, it sucks.
說真的,這種感覺真的無法名狀。

Worse, feeling unlucky in comparison to everyone else only creates more unworthiness and helplessness.
更糟糕的是,情場不順的我們和別人比起來,自卑感和無助感總會油然而生

Like dating and looking for love wasn’t hard enough!!
約會和找到真愛果然是一點都不難啊!

If you know anything about my story, you know I spent 20 long years being a single, great catch. First by living with Mr. Wrong who wouldn’t commit, broke my heart and who I allowed to rip me off of my time, happiness and money to 10 long years of dating before I found my Mr. Right.I made every mistake possible. And I dated every different kind of man you can imagine. And wow, did I learn
.
如果你知道發生在我身上的事情,你會發現,我曾單身整整20年,那是十分的艱難的一段時光。一開始我和錯的人在一起,那個連承諾都給不起的人傷透了我的心,然后我浪費了時間,幸福和金錢和他約會長達十年之久,之后我才遇到了我的真命天子。

Between my own life experience and my clients, I have seen it all, what I no longer have are any illusions or excuses about how finding love actually works.
來往于我自身的經歷和我的客戶們,我見證了種種,也失去了對如何找到真愛的幻想和借口。

Ignorance wasn’t bliss: I am grateful, I woke up and grew up and stopped waiting and wishing for love.
無知并不是一種福氣:我很感激著,醒悟著,成長著,不再等待并且開始渴望真正的愛情。

One of the most powerful things I did was abandon the whole idea of LUCK.
其中影響最大的事情莫過于我擺脫了愛情有關運氣的這個想法。

Imagine for a moment there was NO such thing as being LUCKY or UNLUCKY IN LOVE.
不要去想在愛情里幸運與否。

Imagine there is no destiny, no meant to be soulmate, just what you choose from an open array of choices in the buffet called life.
不要去想宿命論,或者有情人終成眷屬,生活就好比你吃自助餐一般,在無數的選擇中選擇。

What would change? How might you ACT, THINK or FEEL differently? What would almost magically transform now that you no longer believe you’re unlucky, unworthy, flawed or cursed?The problem with LUCK…
影響因素會是什么呢?會是你所動,所想,所感的不同嗎?若你不再堅信你是不幸的,渺小的,滿是缺點的,不受待見的人,會不會有些東西就會微妙而又神奇的變化了呢?

The problem with ‘luck’ is that it’s passive. It convinces you, that all you have to do is wait and one magical day your wish for LOVE will be fulfilled. Like, Rapunzel in the Grimms Fairytale, the myth of sitting beautifully on your princess cushion awaiting your dream man to come rescue you, needs to be challenged.
帶有運氣成分的命題總是消極被動的。你會覺得,你所需要做的只是等待,然后有一天你一直期盼的愛情就會來臨。?這就就好像在格林童話里,端坐在公主坐墊上的長發公主等待著真命天子的救贖,這個“故事”本身其實是站不住腳的。

Believing in LUCK or destiny means waiting for love so life can finally begin.The flawed belief that destiny will find you, rather than you meeting your own destiny by stepping up and digging in, keeps you hoping, wishing, praying, dabbling and desiring without getting anything done except in your mind.
一味的相信機遇和命運的話,你就會在原地等待愛情,最后的最后,你才開始了你的愛情故事。這個錯誤的信念的根本在于:你并沒有自己通過一步一步向前開拓,去遇見你自己的命運。你只是聽由的命運的指引,這樣放任的結果就會導致你一直幻想,期待,祈禱,籌劃并且渴望。但這一切終究是你腦海里的構想,卻沒有付諸實施。

This Magical notion that LOVE JUST HAPPENS, ONE LUCKY DAY, actually blocks you from attracting it.
愛情就是這樣,在某個機緣巧合的日子,不禁意的悄然而至,抱有這個奇妙想法的你,實際上卻遠離了愛情。

Destiny isn’t a thing that exists outside of you, but an energy you create from your own presence and commitment that is so compelling, the universe, God, divinity – whatever you call it, steps up, takes notice and synchronistically places love in your path.
命運和你并不是分割的兩部分,而是你根據本我的存在和承諾/義務,可以是十分玄妙的東西,萬象,神,神性。 不論你怎么稱呼它,大步向前吧,留意著,同時在你生命的旅途中小心安放你的愛情。

Then, fate steps back, crosses it fingers and says, be real, be present, put love first and don’t screw it up by closing off and shutting down.
然后,命運這個家伙便會后退,十指交叉著并說,要做自己,要活在當下,愛情縱然是重要的,但是不要封鎖和隔離自己,這樣愛情會離你而去。

Here’s what you MUST be willing to do to be lucky in love!
以下是情場得意的你所必須做的事情.?

(It’s everything I did to meet my mate)
(這是我為找到我的另一半曾經做過的所有事情)

Be committed, courageous and determined even if you feel defeated, frustrated and helpless.
即使當你覺得挫敗,失意,無助,你也要忠誠,勇敢,堅定。

Be willing to fail: to have bad dates, say the wrong thing, make a fool of yourself, let your emotions get the best of you and then try again.
愿意面對失敗:去體驗糟糕的約會,去說錯話,去犯傻,釋放你最真實的情感,然后再試一次。

Be authentically you even if this means facing rejection (which is doubly hard if you care what others think. Do it anyway so you can be loved for you, just as you are).
要為人真誠,即使你可以會被拒絕(雖然這會越發的困難,尤其對那些太在意別人想法的人。但是你還是要做你自己,你就是你,就是因此別人才會喜歡你)

Be willing to date despite all your excuses, justifications and complaints. Go on that next date even when a part of you wants to quit.
不管有什么樣的借口,理由和抱怨,都要去約會。即使你內心有所動搖,也要繼續約會。

Be willing to confront the insecurities, mishaps, mistakes and patterns that are sabotaging your love life. Don’t take the easy road of blaming men or external circumstances for WHY you’re still single.
愿意直面不安,意外,錯誤以及所有影響你愛情的途徑。不要因為單身就簡單的歸責于他人或者周遭的環境。

When you endure dishonesty, rejection or heartbreak, be willing to get back up, brush yourself off, inject massive doses of self-love into your system and date again. Think, that was then, this is now, I’ll try again).
當戀人對你不忠,求愛被拒或者極度悲痛時,試著去找下一任,忘記不開心的事情,給自己多注入一點自愛的成分然后再次開始約會。想著,過去的已經過去,我該做的只有擁抱當下,我不會就這么輕易放棄的。

Be vulnerable: fear, sweat, tears and all. Attracting and keeping real love demands you unmask, reveal who you are and open your heart. (there’s no other way).
“脆弱”一點:恐懼,焦慮,淚水以及別的種種。贏得和擁有真愛要求你必須卸下偽裝,做自己以及敞開心扉。(別無他法)

Be willing to learn how to date, how to be in relationship and how to love. Grow in knowledge and ability with dedicated mastery.
學習如何去約會,如何開始一段感情,如何去愛。去慢慢習得并熟練愛情這門學問和技能。

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聲明:本雙語文章的中文翻譯系滬江英語原創內容,轉載請注明出處。中文翻譯僅代表譯者個人觀點,僅供參考。如有不妥之處,歡迎指正。